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Perhaps
you needed some compassion, and you confided in them with a certain level
of trust. Then you were shocked when they gave you no compassion at all
...but only scorn and ridicule. Perhaps you trusted in them for help,
leadership, and guidance. Then they stabbed you in the back through
deceit and betrayal of trust. Perhaps you trusted in their loyal
friendship to you. Perhaps it was a close friend or family member.
Then you found out they had no loyalty for you at all. Then they
denied doing anything at all.
Every conflict is due to both sides being a little out of
balance.
There are no exceptions!
If you can think of an exception, it is something other
than conflict. If you have found yourself in a conflict, if you have concluded
that it must be the other person's fault entirely, guess again! It does not take
much for us to start or add to a conflict. You did at least one thing to contribute
to the conflict.
When two are involved, and they both are only a little
out of balance, conflict can easily happen. It is always so easy to see what
it is that the other person did wrong. It seems much harder for us to admit
that we did something to contribute to the conflict.
The question is not if you
are little out of balance and partly responsible for the conflict. The
question is which area are you a little out of balance? Was it your creativity?
Was it your fair-mindedness? Was it your forgiveness or discretion? Perhaps
it was your discernment, your discipline, or your objectivity!
Suppose that you have an encounter with someone. Suppose that the other
person is being a little out of balance in their character. Suppose
that what they are saying or doing is causing you harm, injury, or insult.
Has that ever happened to you? Well, your next choice will be the deciding
factor of whether or not you are in a conflict. Your next choice will
decide if you are preventing a conflict or engaging
in one. The choice is up to you.
Presently, the human race is made up of those who range from being a
little to
a lot out of balance. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone had
a tag on their wrist that we could read when we meet them? You understand,
on their tag would be the resume' of their character. It would tell of
what areas that they were a little out of balance. It would tell whether
they were a lot out of balance.
So then, the rule of etiquette would
be that each time you meet someone new you could read their tag first.
Once you saw their tag, you could then decide whether they were worth
getting to know or not worth the risk. The tags could even be color-coded
by the people who knew them before you did. That way, warnings about them
could be passed on to those who are next in line to meet them. If they were
mean or rude to you, you could simply give them a red tag to wear as a warning
to the next person. Have you ever met someone you wish would have come with
a warning tag?
Okay, here is the good news!
You see; each one already has color-coded tags on them.
The issue is not if they come with tags or not. The real issue is how do we learn
how to read those tags? You see, the tags are written in the language of character.
In order to read the tags, you first have to learn how to read the language of
character. Solving Conflicts is about learning
how to read the language of character.
Now then, some people are very cleaver about keeping their tags hidden. Those
types should have a "buyers beware" sticker on their forehead! Those people
can be very hard to read even if you know the language of character.
However,
most people do not know how to keep their tags hidden. That is a good thing.
Most people wear their tags on their wrist for everyone to read. In a very
brief encounter, you might not have the time to read their tags before they
try to start a conflict with you. That is why it is always a good idea to
take some time to learn about people first. Take some time to read their
tags first. You will avoid many troubles for yourself if you do. Choose your
friends wisely! Get to know them first before you make unwise commitments
to them.
News flash!
You have some tags of your own. Before you
go around reading other people's tags, you need to learn how to read your own
tags first. Knowing your own character is the first step to becoming balanced.
Then you can become the person that others would like to meet for the very
first time. One good choice at a time you can begin to be more balanced in
your character. Then you can become the person with a balanced character who
would make a great best friend.
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